My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
