Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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