In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
