That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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