Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
