Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Even my vagina gasped.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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