fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
