I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
