OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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