Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
