My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
