you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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