So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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