im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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