did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize