he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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