Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
