So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
