This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
