so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
