i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
