do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
