One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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