I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
