the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
