At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
