she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
