You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize