They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
