why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can I color on your dick again?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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