What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
