i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
