return my video game
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ladies don't puke and tell
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
