YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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