Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
