where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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