So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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