I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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