they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You were trust falling into bushes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
