Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
