You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
