I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize