and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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