do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
