i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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