I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
