He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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