just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
