..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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