Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
