i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
