Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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