11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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