Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
