So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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