Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
