4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
