True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize