To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Someone came in the potted fern
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
