I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize