So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
