Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
