on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is wine microwaveable?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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