He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
