This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
