thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
